jim fucking carrey
jim fucking carrey
I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people
It’s so sad that some of the loveliest and kindest people dislike themselves a lot
if you want to ask a bisexual or asexual person about their sexual history to verify that they’re queer, but you don’t want them to take it the wrong way, try this useful communication technique:
give them twenty dollars and go away.
As a bi person, I can attest to the beneficiality of this method.
I wonder if our animals give us names that we don’t know about
Dog: Oh you got new owner!
Cat: Yeah. She picked me up from the pound yesterday
Dog: She is so cute! What did you name her?
wow over the hedge fandom long time no see
"Mom, Dad…I’m a thespian."
*aggressively snaps while dramatically exiting stage right*
"The Bible says Adam and Eve,
not *snap snap* *jazz hands* and *dramatic leave*”
Mom: “your just going through a stage”
Me: “no mom, I’m going on stage” *strikes dramatic pose*
Don’t you hate it when there’s a perfect opportunity for lesbians and the writers just don’t?
It’s even worse when there’s a perfect opportunity for lesbians and the writers want to but can’t
what’s really amazing to me is that people are so afraid of body hair on women that even in a shaving commercial they won’t show a hairy leg. they demonstrate the razor by shaving a hairless leg. they show their product being completely useless instead of showing leg hair. it’s just crazy